Scott Michael Foster

Albie (Scott Michael Foster) finally confronts Jennifer for her bad behavior.

In this episode, Albie Neuenworth, along with several others, confront Jennifer Barrett at a get-together marking Anyssa's return from the hospital, after Jennifer nearly kills her.

This becomes another infamous battle royale when Jennifer's narcissistic attitude goes super Nova!  Also, watch for Zachary Janson to rain on the snobbish ex-model's parade. 

Also, mentioned is the relationship between Albie and Kevin Halloran, a prominent Los Angeles gay attorney who serves as kind of a big brother to him. Kevin also makes his formal debut here. 


The Atchley Mansion. Everyone is again assembled for a welcome home party for Anyssa, who was released from the hospital a few days earlier after enduring a savage beating at the hands of Jennifer Barrett. She is walking with some help with a cane and assistance from her mother, Lahoma.

The rest of the group is assembled in the main dining room. Sam Lucas is talking with Craig Atchley. Dylan, Adam, Sheila, Allen and Roger are helping Anne Hamilton and Velda Smithfield with getting the food set up. Aaron Atherton is talking with Albie and Jason Mitchell. Libby and Darren D'Aiterio are talking with Aidan Atherton. They haven't seen him since he was six, and they are thrilled with how he's grown up and how he is recovering after what Jennifer had done to him. 

A stirring in the crowd is occurring. Rhonda Whittenberg and her former sister in-law, Allegra Whittenberg, who are once again friends, are coming into the main ballroom.

ALLEGRA: Jennifer is coming along now, everyone. She's loaded for bear. 

LIBBY: Loaded for bear?! Hah! That's a rich one! She couldn't load herself with powdered Jell-O!

(Albie, with Jason at his side, grins at his long-time best friend)

ALBIE (laughing): Hah! Nice one, Lib, my dear! That was HILARIOUS!

LIBBY (bowing and blowing her best male friend a kiss): Thank you, Albs!

​(Only Albie's sister, Joan, his attorney/big brother, Kevin Halloran; his husband, his fraternity brothers and Libby; and people that he is remotely comfortable with, such as Dylan and Sheila; are allowed to call him by his nickname, Albs. Mainly they are people that Albie trusts and he's known for some time)

DYLAN: You know, you two are a great double act. You two click.

(Albie and Libby grin at Dylan)

LIBBY (again bowing): I thank you, kind sir.

ALBIE: It's been our niche since our college days.

JASON: Albie and Libby always keep us in stitches with their observations of life.

DARREN: They keep us from getting too serious.

RHONDA (grinning at Allegra and the others):  Never mind the Jell-o!  She's got enough of that ridiculous Botox in her to sink a flotilla!

ALLEGRA: The Jell-O would only be extra padding!

(the assembled crowd laughs)

DYLAN: Good one, ladies, but here she comes!

(In saunters Jennifer, wearing a new fur coat that one of her adoring male model friends {read: flunky} gave her. She is smiling her usual smirking smile that she always wears whenever she gets her way.)

JENNIFER: Good, I am glad you are all worshipping me as I deserve!

(This aggravates everyone assembled)

AURORA: You have to be kidding me! Who'd want to worship your Botox laden wreck of a body?!

JENNIFER: Anyone who is ANYONE would worship me! I work! Unlike most of you lot!

AURORA: Oh, really?  Well, I work too, probably a lot more than you do, you insipid little slut. I work hard day to day, owning my own bookstore! Unlike you, you Botox ridden bitch. All you seem to do is sit on your ass and drink and live off of your damned residuals, for commercials that ran back in the early 80s!

ANYSSA: Aurora's right, the only work you do is drive everyone crazy. You're no model, far from it! You're nothing but a wastrel.

JENNIFER: How dare you?! 

ANYSSA: You wouldn't know an honest day's work for anything! You are a slag with no compassion or any soul!

(An aggravated Augusta Slater doesn't buy Jennifer's pronouncements, and sides with Anyssa.)

AUGUSTA: Feh! You haven't the grace to carry off anything!  You useless piece of baggage!

JENNIFER: Whatever, you useless battle-axe!

AUGUSTA: Miserable piece of vermin!

JENNIFER: Whatever!

COURTNEY: You can't POSSIBLY imagine just how much your damned "whatever" disgusts this whole room! 

(Now Sam Lucas joins the chorus, lashing out at his daughter's attacker.)

SAM: You have your nerve, madame! You nearly killed my little Anyssa Jo. You should be in prison for hurting my daughter, and trust me, I will see you in prison when I get through with you!

LAHOMA: My husband is correct! Get out of here, you don't belong here, especially after what you did to our Anyssa.

JENNIFER: Shut up, you old fossil! I have every right to be here! And for you all to have a treat and worship me!

(Nobody is liking the idea of that!)

CRAIG: Oh, good grief! I think I need a drink! She's out for blood.

RHONDA: I think we all do.

DYLAN:  I know I do, and I don't usually drink booze. But, like a good boy, I'll stay on the soft drinks.

SHEILA (gently): Good idea, hon. This way, you'll be all right.

ANYSSA: I can understand it. And an excellent idea, Dyl. 

ALLEGRA: We'll keep you safe, kids. She won't last long!

JACQUELINE: And then we'll fumigate the whole place when she leaves.

ALLEGRA: Agreed! 

(Albie and Libby glare at the smirking Jennifer. Clearly, the idea of her being worshipped sickens them.)

JENNIFER (extremely full of herself): Just look at me! Aren't I simply the most beautiful creature ever placed on Earth?! When God made me, he broke the mold! Why, my beauty is so overall superior, even the angels are totally jealous of me! Just take a gander at me. Doesn't my beauty look so terrific?  My skin is so rich, regal, silky and creamy smooth; my clothes are the most fashionable ever; only the best and richest fabrics will ever touch my regal silky smooth skin. Silk and satin appeal to me, none of that damned polyester shit for me! I am the most beautiful model in the world!  My beauty is so far superior that the angels are absolutely envious of me.  Anyone would be envious of my ravishing beauty!

(Again, Albie is aggravated by her narcissism! He had always been disgusted by her arrogance, ever since their college days. Her recitation makes him ill.)

ALBIE: Ohmigod! How many brain cells died for her to come up with that stupid spiel?! Seriously, I can't think of anything more revolting, except diarrhea!

LIBBY: I hear ya, Albs. I would rather worship a blob of Silly Putty, or the Pokemon called Ditto, than that repulsive creature!

JASON: She looks even MORE ridiculous than usual. If THAT can be imagined.

ALBIE: I think, Jae, considering who we're dealing with, I'd venture to say that's a fair assessment.

DARREN: How in the hell could Aaron have dealt with her all those years?! Hell, how'd we deal with her all those years at Elixir? Not to mention Aidan being abused by that slag. There were many times that I would have wanted to kill her!

LIBBY: I know, dear. You, me and everyone else at Elixir. Many is the time I have wanted to put her worthless carcass six feet under! Especially after what that stupid whore did to me that night at the Viper Room!

(Albie nods in total understanding. He knows what night she is referring to)

ALBIE: Yeah, that horrible night. A night which will live forever in infamy! When that evil bitch decided that she was going to go and turn your world upside-down, Lib. She thought it would be such great fun to go and lie to the cops about what happened to River Phoenix! She's the one who should have been arrested that night for filing a false report! If anyone should have been in jail that night, it should have been that lying slag, not you, Lib!

LIBBY: Yeah, she should have been arrested, the liar.

DARREN: But of course, she thinks she's too pristine to be in prison!

ALLEGRA: She's about as pristine as a block of moldy cheese!

(Everyone laughs at Allegra's assessment of Jennifer!)

AARON: She makes me furious. 

SHEILA: What she really deserves, kids, is a good swift kick in the pants!

DYLAN (laughing): You nailed it, there, hon.

(Sheila winks at Dylan, Albie, Jason, Darren and Libby. The twins know all about Libby's rancor with Jennifer and what she pulled on her that night at the Viper Room.)

JENNIFER (her ego overflowing): Now, all of you, drink in my perfect beauty! This'll be the biggest treat of your year, being in my glorious presence. 

(The idea of that is simply disgusting to the assembled company!)

SHEILA: Please, I'd rather drink a glass of Liquid Plum'r!

SHARMAINE: Delusional little slag, that's all she is!

AURORA: I'd rather drink a glass of arsenic....without the Old Lace!

(Again, everyone laughs at Jennifer, who is burning with rage) 

ARDITH: Looking at you is enough to make a saint flip out!

JASON: Witless liar. 

JENNIFER (screaming) You cretins are jealous of my perfect beauty!

(Albie is beyond disgusted. He glares at Jennifer and he rages at her. As he speaks, his voice becomes quite ghetto-fabulous, to everyone's amazement.)

ALBIE: Perfect beauty?! Ya want us ta think we're jealous of ya so-called "perfect beauty"? Are ya out o' what's left o' your deluded mind?! Bitch, I'd rather drink a glass o' flamin' strichnyne than drink in ya so-called "perfect beauty"! Ya're totally deluded, ya know that, ya drama queen?! Ya worship only yourself 'cause nobody else can bear ta even look at ya! Ya're nothin' more than a useless little bint, that's all ya are an' all ya ever will be! Ya think everyone worships ya an' f' what?! 'Cause ya're nothin' more than a washed up has-bin o' a model who never was?! Ya think ya so damned special, an' all that?! What kind of idiots do ya think we are?! We know what kinda person ya really are! An' ya certainly ain't anythin' so damn special, Miss Thang! Ya've never bin anythin' special, an' ya never WILL be! 'Cause o' ya actions,  ya recklessness an' ya nauseatin' attitude, ya're absolutely an' completely without question, persona non grata. Get me?! NOBODY wants anythin' ta do wit' ya! Do ya hear me, ya thick-headed bint?! Nobody! Nobody loves ya! Not even ya own family'll have anythin' ta do wit' ya!

(Jason grins at Dylan as Albie glares at Jennifer.)

JASON: Remember when I told you that when Albie gets very angry, he really can go into bitch mode? Well, feast your eyes on it. This is what I told you.

(Dylan is impressed as he watches Albie shred her.)

DYLAN (enthused) I see what you mean. He really does go into bitch mode. He's doing quite splendidly against her!

JASON: Yep, that's my Albie. (a look of worry crosses his face) The thing is though, when he really gets going, as he is now, his grammar goes into gay ghetto-fabulous. A mix of ghetto and cockney slang. It's nothing really bad, we all like it. It's just a part of his charm. It was a throwback to how he was when he was hanging out with some gay guys in West Hollywood.

DYLAN: Really?

JASON: Yep. That group of guys were quite a interesting bunch, to be honest. They were a group, and always dressed for success. They dressed so fashionably, you couldn't guess they were very activistic. They were everyday businessmen, really, lawyers, professional men, what have you. However, they were flaming, and proudly gay, but they were also as hard as nails and as tough as old tool leather, and anyone with a working brain cell didn't dare mess with them.

DYLAN: Sounds like a group to stay clear of.

JASON: Not really, they were rather harmless. Because on the other hand, the guys were also very loving and very gentle towards Albie and were, and still are, very protective of him. They taught him everything he knows about handing down a dressing down.

DYLAN: Impressive. He has learned his lessons well. Albie's got a lot of love. Did Joan know about them?

JASON: Yep, it really is, and yes, she knows of them, and so do we. She knows Kevin Halloran, who was their leader. He's a big-name attorney and a power-broker in the gay community. He serves as a big brother figure to Albie and he adores him as much as I do. Kevin met Albie and Joan when they first moved to California and he took Albie under his wing immediately. Kevin is also his personal attorney. Kevin and his group are as much a family to him as we are. They taught him how to be strong and to be proud of who he is, and they toughened him up really well. They're, like we are, quite protective of him, even to this day.

DYLAN: Do you all get on well?

JASON: Yes, we do. We all met when Albie joined us in the fraternity, and ever since, we get along beautifully.  They attended our big wedding also, Kevin, in fact, helped Albie get dressed.

DYLAN: Wow. That's impressive.

JASON: Yes, it is. However, back to the subject at hand, the anger he expends really drains him of energy and he gets rather emotional. Kevin especially worries about that, much as I do. He really has his best interests in mind, as I do. I just worry about him so much, but I can understand when he goes ghetto-fab on someone who angers him.

(Dylan's eyes look in concern at Albie)

DYLAN: I can see that too. Poor guy. He really must despise her. I've never seen him get so angry at anyone.

AARON: He really does despise her. I think sometimes he hates her even worse than I do, Dyl. I hate her because of what she did to me when we were married, but he hates her even more for that. Especially since she seemed to get her joys in tormenting him specifically. She knew better than to cross the rest of us, but she targeted him all the time. 

LIBBY: Well, right now, it looks as if he's holding his own against that battle-axe, that's something I think.

JASON: Yes, it is, Lib. Still, I worry.

AARON (kindly): I know you do, Jase. I know how much you care about him. I care about him as well, so does everyone else. Albie has us in his corner, the people who truly love him very much. She has NOTHING. There's the difference. Whether that stupid bitch likes it or not, she's hated by all. But our Albie is loved. He always has been and always will be. 

(Aaron and the others continue to watch the argument as Jennifer yells at an unflinching Albie.)

JENNIFER (sneering): Oh, do you really think so?! You stupid pathetic nothing of a loser! My family LOVES me! They believe EVERYTHING I say about me! I am just so absolutely PERFECT! Who wouldn't love me? There is so much about me to be loved!

ALBIE (disgusted): Oh, God! Will ya look at ya self, Miss Thang?! Ya can't handle bein' told the truth, so much so, that ya turn around an' call me a loser! This comin' from the loud mouth o' the biggest whore in all o' Southern California. Ya really should look in the mirror, ya trollope! That's where the real loser is!  That is, only if ya can bear it!

JENNIFER (heaving): But I am absolutely PERFECT! When they look at perfection, they look at me.

ALBIE (scornfully): Bitch, PLEASE! They ain't nothin' perfect about ya! They's never bin anythin' perfect about ya!

SHEILA (giving Albie some much needed help): Yeah,  Albie's right! You're far from perfect! You're perfectly DREADFUL, more like!

DYLAN: Yes! You give new meaning to the term dreadful!

(Albie sends the twins a grateful look)

ALBIE: Thanks, guys. Appreciated very much. 

JENNIFER (screeching): How can ANYONE even THINK that?! I am the most perfect model in the world. I am in such high demand! I could win America's Next Top Model, you know! Everybody is clamoring for my services!

ALBIE (laughing in sheer scorn): Oh, please, ya stupid bint. Just how long have ya been off o' ya bloody bipolar meds?! Ya'd have ta have been off 'em f' years ta even be spewin' such contemptible an' ridiculous rubbish!! Ya really think ya'd win America's Next Top Model?!  Hah! I doubt THAT'D happen, ya dumb bint! Hell's fire, lady, ya couldn't even win the damned Westminster Kennel Club Dog show, much less a show o' such prestige like that! Ya couldn't make the cut o' that show wit' a dull pair o' pinkin' shears!

JENNIFER: But....but!

ALBIE: Hell, ya'd be laughed right off that show by Tyra Banks, who knows what a lyin' fraud ya really are. I doubt ya'd even be welcomed on RuPaul's Drag Race!  The queens on that show would've gleefully thrown ya out on ya fake Botox-laden ass!

JENNIFER: How dare you!

ALBIE: Ya'd also couldn't even win The Gong Show or even The Original Amateur Hour, either Major Bowes or Ted Mack's versions, f'all a that. Hell, slag, ya'd even have been booed right offa Ed Sullivan's stage! Face it, ya dumb slag, ya ain't got no talent, aside from bein' a useless shrew. Why don't ya just shut up f' once in ya damned life?! If ya think people are clamorin' f' ya services, then ya really an' truly are outta ya bat-shit mind! Besides, ya gimme a sick headache! 

JENNIFER: Can't stand the truth, can you?! Everybody loves me! They only love me! My modeling services are asked for worldwide!

(Jennifer smirks nastily at Albie. Unfazed, he looks at her in icy fury)

ALBIE (poisonously): Oh, izzat so?! By who then, ya damned narcissist? Just who the hell would be so asinine enough ta want ya services? Genghis Kahn? Attila the Hun? Napoleon? Mussolini? Hitler?! Oh, Hell's Bells, ya bitch, they'd be the only degenerates who'd be desperate or stupid enough ta want ya services!

JENNIFER: You bastard!

ALBIE: Oh really?! Izzat the best insult ya can come up wit'?! Please! Like that's supposed ta faze me? Hah, not bloody likely! If I were ya, I'd look in the mirror! That is, if the damned thing doesn't break on ya!

JENNIFER: No mirror would break when I cast my adoring gaze on it!

ALBIE (Disgusted): Oh, Holy Mother MacCree! I think I'm about ta bloody die!  Ya really are a stupid little bint ain't ya?!

(Aaron, sensing Albie's increasing distress, comes to his fraternity brother's aid.)

AARON: You really ARE crazy, Jennifer! Nobody in their right minds would touch you with a BARGE pole...except to hit you with it!

JENNIFER (desperately): Oh?! If that's the case, then what about my contract with the Randolph agency?! THAT should tell you something, you loser!

(Jennifer sneers at Aaron, but, having dealt with her delusional tantrums for all those years has taught him how to deal with her and her narcissism. He is absolutely unfazed by her overflowing arrogance) 

AARON: Oh, you really think so, do you? Well, I'd not be so damned smug, woman. Just wait, here comes the first surprise!

(Jennifer is unconcerned. She buffs her nails, bored. Enter Anyssa's close friend, Joliette Manning. She gives Albie a gentle smile admiring his strength and courage; then she glares at her enemy.)

JOLIETTE (softly but angrily): You, like countless others before you, have made an error, Barrett. A GRIEVOUS error! And that mistake is going to cost you and it's going to cost you dearly! That error was that you underestimated me! You, like so many others who made that same exact mistake, only see one thing, but fail to notice other details. Yes, you only see me as a nurse at Mass General, but I am more than that. MUCH, much more than that. You should have listened to me, bitch! I warned you plenty of times about messing with me and my family and friends. And now you are going to pay for it!

JENNIFER (her face turning white): What do you mean?!

JOLIETTE (another smile crosses her face, this time it's a smile of savage glee): Oh, let me tell you what I did, dear. Besides being a nurse, I am also the heiress of the Manning Industries fortune! Yes, my parents are Steven and Monique Manning, one of the most powerful families in all of Upstate New York! They are on the same level and in the same circles as the Harpers!

(Jennifer is outwardly not concerned, but inside, her stomach sinks)

JENNIFER: Ha! As if you matter to me!

JOLIETTE: I would advise you not to underestimate me again, Barrett! You did it once, and it severely backfired on you, and I promise you if you do so again, the results will be the same! Anyway, I talked with Mrs. Randolph, the woman who you signed on with at her agency. She found out about what you did to Aidan and what you did to Albie over there. That was cause sufficient for you to be blackballed from each and every modeling agency in the country!  She also found out that you viciously blackmailed her to have her sign you to her company.  She ended your contract on the spot!

(Jennifer is stunned!)

JENNIFER (spitefully): You can't do that to me!

JOLIETTE: Oh, but I can, dear! I can and I did! Your career is finished!

(Aaron glares at Jennifer triumphantly She is sickened.)

AARON: And make no mistake about it, Jennifer, it was I who let Joliette know what you did. She then told me about your deceit at the Randolph agency. And it was short work for me to help Joliette call every modeling agency in the country to blackball you from ever being represented. Also, we put a stop on ALL your royalties and residuals from your career! You have no money coming in now! Your career is officially finished!

JENNIFER (erupting angrily, as usual when she is told facts and not the false praise for her evil that she wants to hear): You piece of shit! I will destroy you all for this! I hope you all rot in hell for stealing my career! My career means the world to me!

JOLIETTE: Too bad, so sad!

(Joliette glares at Jennifer, and then she walks over and pats Albie on the shoulder.)

ALBIE: Thanks, Joliette.  I so appreciate that. 

JOLIETTE: You're welcome, doll. And don't you worry about her. She's a non-entity.

(Now, Dylan glares at Jennifer. His eyes are as hard as steel)

DYLAN (in a similarly steel tone of voice): Well, then, you miserable skank, maybe you should have thought about that little detail when you were busy hurting your son!

JENNIFER (angrily): What I'd done to that brat is nobody's business!

DYLAN (infuriated): Oh, please! Spare me that load of horse crap, lady! That excuse doesn't wash with me and you damn well know it! You make Joan Crawford look like Mother Teresa! And we all know what a wicked bitch Joan Crawford was! Permit me to remind you, you rotten piece of filth, that it was you and your ridiculous idiocy towards your son that made what you did to him our business! You dragged us into this situation when it concerns Aidan! He's my son's best friend. The kid that you beat up with such cruelty. Derek cares about him, as does Sammy. Which leaves you out doesn't it?

JENNIFER (dismissively): Oh, shut up!

(Dylan sighs. It is clear that Jennifer is never going to learn!)

DYLAN: Oh, you insipidly STUPID woman! You just don't seem to learn, do you?! When will you get it? You dismiss us, it'll be at your own peril, lady! I warn you, you dismiss us, you'll certainly pay for it!

JENNIFER: I said, shut up! You losers are nothing to me!

(Sheila is irate at Jennifer screaming at her brother.)

SHEILA (furiously): No, bitch, YOU shut up! And, the next time you ever dare to raise your voice at my twin brother, I will break your lily-livered neck!   We're not the losers, you are! You have caused so much pain, for me, my family and everyone else in this room. You nearly injured my sister, tried to make a fool out of me and my twin brother, and you think that we're prepared to let you slide on that one?!

JENNIFER (smugly): Of course you will! Because I'm so delectibly cute and so very, very beautiful!

ALBIE (trying not to vomit, glares at her. He isn't buying her narcissism, he has never bought her narcissism): Cute? Hah! Not in a billion years! Beautiful?! Again, I say, Hah! Not a chance in hell! In fact, ya narcissistic homewreckin' trollop, the Gorgon Medusa, wit' a permanent bad hair day, would look 100 times more beautiful than ya would ANY day of the week, an' she had real snakes for hair! Ya're just a disgustin' selfish little shrew, an' ya're nothin' more than a slag who looks beautiful on the outside, but the ugliness hides underneath! Ya're a sick, disgustin' piece o' work who, ever since college, was nothin' but a phony, a fraud, an' a lyin' hypocrite all across the board!

JENNIFER (self-piteously): Look at you, heaping hate all over me! Me! Someone who's so universally loved! You hate me! You've always hated me! Nobody is supposed to hate me! (She starts to sniffle)​ You monster, you hurt my feelings and now I'm going to cry!

ALBIE (scornfully): Oh, please, Miss Thang! Don't even think about tryin' ta pull THAT act o' ya's on me! Ya fake cryin' act is f' the birds! F' one thing, ya ain't got the talent f'it, an' second of all, ya're fake as hell! Ya know, I don't buy that act, I never have an' never will. Ya pulled it on me before, an' it didn't work. It sure as hell ain't gonna work now!

JENNIFER: See, you hate me!  You've always hated me! 

ALBIE (incredulous): I've hated ya?! Hah! I don't think so! Try the other way around, Miss Thang! Ya've hated me from day one! Ya've made it clear as well that ya didn't give a toss about me! Ya've treated me like crap from the very first minute I ever set foot on that campus, and ya know that fact as well as I do, ya drama queen! An' don't ya go playin' the pity party bit! That don't wash wit' me, an' ya also know that fact full well! What's clear is that ya're nothin' but a manipulative little shrew!

JENNIFER: I think I am just going to HAVE to call the police! I want sympathy, and you won't give me any!

(Albie is thoroughly pushed to his limits. Jennifer's aggravating smirk sets him over the edge. He can't stand her arrogance any longer. Provoked, he finally loses his temper and his rage flows. Jason notices, to his horror, that tears are starting to fall down Albie's face.)

ALBIE (exploding, tears streaming down his face): I can't believe this contemptible rubbish ya're spewin'! Are ya completely outta what's left o' ya tiny bat-shit little mind?! Ya stupid bint, ya're truly bloody ridiculous! Sympathy?! Ya've caused me no end o' trouble since we were in college, an' ya want me ta give ya sympathy?! Ya must be completely stupid, Barrett! No, ya're not stupid, ya're just damned bloody ignorant! All ya done, all ya've EVER done, since the first time I had the misfortune ta clap eyes on ya, is ya build ya self up by tearin' other folk down! That's always bin ya damned MO from the first day o' college. Hell's Bells, the very first minute I was on that flamin' campus, ya tripped me as I was comin' outta me first class wit' those damned ugly ass high heel boots of ya's. An', trust me, folk, an uglier pair o' footwear I've never seen in me life. If ya think they're fashionable, then ya're even more stupid than I even imagined!  Ta add flamin' insult ta injury, one o' ya favorite tactics by the way; ya an' ya little pack o' stuck-up snobs were busy laughin' ya Botox laden backsides off all the way down ta the quad an' all over Westwood. Hell, the whole campus heard ya! I am surprised ya weren't heard over the bells at the carillon!

(Aaron, Jason and Rusty come over and put their arms around the upset Albie, as do Darren and Libby, all of them burning angry glares at the smug Jennifer. Aaron remembered that day all too well.  He had, in fact, helped Albie up from his fall. He rubs his friend's head gently, his compassion coming out for his vulnerable frat brother.)

JENNIFER: I had my right to trip you! Those boots were the heights of fashion, as I am! I am far more superior than you are! You are nothing to me! 

ALBIE: Oh, as if, bitch! Ya ain't so superior, ya're delusional! Ya've made it clear what everyone is, in ya delusional mind, at least! Ta ya, everyone is beneath ya an' deservin' of nothin' but contempt. Ya see yaself as so damned high an' bloody mighty,  starin' down ya fat snout at everyone, while we poor hoi polloi are ordered by ya ta worship ya disgustin' Botox loaded backside! Just how stupid do ya think we are?! Ya think ya're all that an' a bag o' chips, ain't ya?! Well, guess what?! I've gotta news flash f' ya, Miss Thang! Ya ain't all that! Ya never will be all that. Far from it! Ya less than nothin' ta the people who really matter, an' that's about 99% o' proper folk! All ya do, all ya ever KNOW how ta do, is ya backstab, ya lie, ya connive, ya threaten everyone wit' bein' arrested f'trumped up an' fictional crimes, an' ya throw temper tantrums when ya don't get ya own way! An' f'what? To soothe ya wretched an' massively overinflated ego. Good grief, Miss Thang, the litany o' ya crimes could fill the whole White Page volume of the Boston telephone book! Why do ya think nobody likes ya?! Even before she died, Sarah Jo told us that she would never forgive ya f'what ya did ta everyone. What ya did ta Aidan was the worst thing anyone could ever do ta a child.

JENNIFER: I don't care!  I don't care what any of you have to say!  You have no morals! I have more morals than anyone in this room! Most of you are in SINFUL relationships!

(This serves to infuriate Albie all the more. His eyes bore into his enemy like poisonous needles.)

ALBIE (coldly): Oh, izzat so?! Ya're gonna go there an' call me marriage ta Jason a "sinful relationship"?! And ya've got the flamin' gall ta think that what ya've done ta Aaron over the years wasn't a bloody sin?! Ya nothin' but a stupid two-faced hypocrite, that's what ya are! Well, ya're just gonna shut the hell up about THAT one, ya slag! Do ya hear me, ya bint?! Whether ya like it or not, I'm gonna have me say, an' they ain't nothin' ya can do ta stop me from havin' me say. Do ya get me, ya filthy bint? They ain't nothin' ya can do ta stop me an' they ain't anythin' ya can do about it! Furthermore, ya gonna keep ya flappin' trap shut! We're the ones callin' the shots around here, Miss Thang, an' ya're not! Pound that inta that thick wool o' ya's! Now ya really becomin' asinine! Morals?! Ya claim ta have MORALS?! And ya think ya haven't committed any sins?! Gimme a BREAK, Skank! I wasn't born yesterday as much as ya might think otherwise! Did ya think ya were born this mornin' so holy that ya was as clean as God's fingers?! If ya truly think that, then ya really are an imbecile. 'Cause that's a pack o' bloody lies that only an imbecile would believe. Ya hypocrisy is only dwarfed by ya massive an' overinflated ego! Tell us, Madame, just how many different men did ya sleep around wit' while ya was in college?!

JENNIFER: What's it to you?! My relationships with men were lovely. You are a heathen and a piece of scum!

ALBIE: Plenty! It means plenty ta me, and let's us not be callin' me a heathen! I ain't as much o' a heathen as ya seem ta be! An' as f'callin' me a piece o' scum, ya bitch, I'd advise ya ta watch that big mouth o' ya's, 'fore someone comes along an' slams their fist inta it! F'ya information, this ain't about me, this is about payback f'all the pain ya've put me an' the people I care about through all those years! Anyway, I'll ask ya again, just how many different men did ya sleep wit'?! Ah, let's us see now! Ah yes! Let these facts be submitted ta a candid world! Ya'd sleep around wit' anyone wit' a penis! An' believe me, folk, lemme tell ya, it ran the bloody gamut! The names are an endless roster; a vast who's who o' UCLA people!  Athletes, students, professors, janitors, administrators, ya slept wit' 'em all! What angers me the most is that ya even slept wit' ya humanities professor. It's a pity he never taught ya HUMANITY! Oh, yeah, wait! Ya failed that class, just like ya failed all ya classes an' everythin' else ya do! An' when ya fail, lemme tell ya, ya fail spectacularly! An' what about all the numerous men ya cheated on Aaron with durin' that farce of a marriage o' ya's?! Ya had more men come in an' out o' that house o' ya's like a revolvin' door! What'd ya have in there, a flippin' harem?! What aggravates me most is the savage way ya harmed Aidan because ya were jealous o' ya own son!

JENNIFER: How dare you?! I wasn't jealous of him! If anything, that brat should have been jealous of ME! That kid was nothing to me!

(The entire company gasps in shock, some of them shoot Jennifer a deadly look, meanwhile, Aidan burns in rage. Aaron gently calms his son down.)

AARON: Calm down, buddy. It's all right, and you're all right. She's not going to get away with it. 

AIDAN: I hate her, Dad! I really hate her! She's so totally egotistical.

AARON (hugging Aidan close): I know, buddy. I know you do. I want to mop up the floor with her myself. But we're here to help Albie. He's got it under control. He's a strong person.

AIDAN: Still, I want to put her on blast.

AARON: Me, too.

(They watch Albie shred Jennifer. Aaron puts his arm around Aidan and holds him close. Even though he is in college, he still sees him as his little boy.)

ALBIE: OMG! Ain't that typical?! Ain't that just plain typical?! It's only what I'd expect from a piece o' filth like ya, Barrett! Aidan should've bin jealous o' ya?! Izzat so?! An' why izzat, ya whore? 'Cause ya're so damned superior ta everyone else?! I don't think so! Ya ain't anywhere near superior, an' ya never will be! It's Aidan who deserves me sympathies! He's the one who always got such short shrift from ya over the years! Poor mite took the spotlight off the narcissist, the so-called "star", 'cause he needed his mother ta love him, as a real mother ought ta have done, but apparently, ya never got that notice did ya?! No! O' course ya didn't! Ya was so damned busy thinkin' ya was the flamin' center o' attention that ya couldn't bloody be bothered! Well, ya failed that kid, just like ya failed everythin' else! Not that ya give a damn, ya miserable slag, because ya didn't then an' ya still don't!

JENNIFER: So what?!  I don't have to stand here and take this...this...abuse!    

ALBIE (savagely): Oh, yeah, ya will, ya bint! Ya're goin' ta stand there an' ya're gonna take every last single final bit o' this dressin' down, an' ya're gonna like it! Ya've had it comin' ta ya f'quite a long time, madame, an' it's been long overdue! An' I said, shut up! I'm not gonna repeat meself again! Ya keep that flappin' trap o' ya's shut 'fore someone comes along an' boards it up! (Everyone laughs at the idea of Jennifer's mouth being boarded up.) Now, ya hear this, ya miserable hussy! 'Cause o' ya wicked schemes an' ya out an' out recklessness, ya nearly drove an innocent young man inta a nervous breakdown! Again, not that ya gave a damn! Thank God f' Aaron! He'd had the good sense ta get his son inta therapy ta help undo a good deal of the damage! The damage ya caused! But then again, ya own son didn't fit inta ya plans, did he, Miss Thang?! He never did, did he? Poor kid, he was nothin' more than a mere prop f' ya, ta show the world that ya was some kind o' model mother, when, in reality, ya ain't nothin' o' the kind!

JENNIFER: Why you!

ALBIE (not flinching) Oh, believe me, I knew all about ya plans, Miss Thang! Every last one o' 'em! Don't think I didn't, 'cause I did! Ya may think I'm one o' the stupidest creatures alive, but be assured o' this, an' burn this inta that thick wool o' ya's, I'm quite far from stupid! An' ya'd better be wise ta remember it, ya bint! The only thing ya ever cared about was money! That's all ya've ever really loved! Money, an' ya're nothin' more than a gold-diggin' cheap-ass slut! All ya plans was that ya just had ta live off o' Aaron's millions an' cheat on him wit' everyone wit' a penis An' then, when Aaron goes an' sleeps wit' Rusty only ONCE, ya scream, beef, an' throw a damned tantrum! It just shows what a hypocrite ya really are!


ALBIE (continuing, ignoring Jennifer's screaming):  Did I hear anythin'? Nope. I didn't hear anythin', ya screamin' is merely white noise. Not even worth recognizin'! As I said, Aaron cheats on ya only one time in his life, because o' ya bein' the whore o' Southern California, an' ya go an' throw tantrums an' hold a damned grudge against him f' a lifetime, but ya go an' bloody cheat on him whenever the whim hits ya wit' every man in the Southland an' ya demand him ta forgive ya an' take ya back all the damned time! Just how stupid are ya? Ya an' ya double-standards are exceedin'ly ridiculous an' completely hideous! I think ya're nothin' but a vile, worthless, an' useless woman! Ya're truly disgustin'! Why do ya think nobody in the world will even SPEAK ta ya?!

(All of a sudden, Albie's voice becomes tired, his voice still ghetto-fab, but the confrontation is beginning to take a harsh toll on him. He is almost about to fall, as the tears are still streaming down his face. Jason starts to get concerned.)

JASON: Oh, no! I knew it. He's getting fatigued. He's really tired. His voice is losing emotion.

DYLAN: Oh my. I see what you mean. We've got to help him.

SHEILA: We all do. Aaron, get him a chair, please.

AARON: Right, Sheila. Albs, hang on, buddy, Aaron's gonna bring you a chair to sit in, k? 

RUSTY: Albs, hang in there. You're gonna be all right, buddy, we're gonna help ya here.

ALLEGRA: Rhonda and I will help him, too, Jason.

RHONDA: We're ready.

JACQUELINE: We're at your service.

LIBBY: We're here to help ya, sweetie. D'Aiterio and I got ya.

DARREN: Hang on, Albs. I'm coming. 

ANYSSA: I'll get him something to drink. Mom? Albie needs help.

LAHOMA: I'm coming, honey. Albie, I'm going to come and help you, ok, sweetheart?

ALBIE (his voice devoid of emotion, he glares at Jennifer): Ya know somethin', ya really make me sick, Barrett. Ya really turn me stomach. Ya really do me 'ead in. I really can't stomach the sight o' ya one second more! When I say ya gimme a sick headache, I mean it! Ya truly make me wanna vomit. I can't stand the idea o' ya bein' anywhere bloody near me. I don't even wanna look at ya ugly face ever again! Ya ain't nothin', ya disgustin' whore. Nothin' but a damned waste o' space. That's all ya are, an' all ya ever will be! An' the sooner ya disappear off o' the face o' the Earth, the better off we, an' the rest o' humanity, will all be.  Now, get outta me life, and get away from me an' me friends, 'fore I thoroughly lose me temper an' I f'get ya're a lady and I go an' mop up the floor wit' ya ugly face!

With that parting shot, Albie, completely drained, is gently escorted by Rhonda and Allegra to the chair Aaron brings over. He sits in it and he is just totally spent, tears falling down his face. Worried, Aaron brushes the hair out of his frat brother's eyes. Lahoma goes to help him, bringing him some soup. Anyssa is just as gravely worried about her friend, she goes to get some punch for him. Jennifer, enjoying her carnage, smirks smugly, earning her a blistering look from Libby and a savage looks-that-kill glare from everyone else. A worried Jason runs over to him.

JASON: Albs? You need me, Bae?

ALBIE (his voice, while no longer ghetto-fab, is still emotionless): Yes. I never thought I would live to see the day I would even say this, but being around that disgusting piece of filth makes me feel like I was swimming in a toxic waste dump. She's absolutely enough to make anyone want to throw up! I feel so dirty and ill. Especially around that waste of space. Yes, Jae, I do need you, more than ever now.

JASON (softly): Don't worry, my Bae. It's all right. We've got your back. We'll take over for you. You did your part and you did it very well. Now, you rest in my arms, my precious.

(Hearing the words from the man who loves him dearly, Albie, emotionally spent, breaks down sobbing, as Jason wraps him in his arms and comforts him. Everyone else is worried for Albie and wanting to tear the smirking Jennifer in half.)

ANYSSA (offering her support, patting him on the shoulder): You did a lovely job on her, Albie. Now, you rest, we've got your back.

DYLAN: We're on your side, Albie. We Harpers care for our own, and that wretched woman is going to find that out the hard way. She won't get away with this, my friend. We'll make her pay for this, you have my word on that one!

SHEILA: Dyl and Nyssa's right, Albie. You did beautifully against that wicked witch. You're quite brave, and we're all proud of you. You rest, you've earned it, and we'll deal with her. 

DARREN: You did a wonderful job, Albs. Libby and I and the rest of us are quite proud of you. 

LIBBY: D'Aiterio's right, sweetheart. We're quite proud of you.  

AARON (Gently, rubbing the back of his frat brother's head): Yes, we are, Albs. You always make us proud. You gave her the business. Great work, pal. We've got ya, buddy, all of us do. You rest now, babe. You've earned it. She's not going to hurt you any more. 

JENNIFER (mocking): Awww, ain't this touching?! This is so disgusting that it makes me want to vomit!

(Aaron burns in fury at the insult she leveled at Albie)

AARON (disgusted): Will you listen to yourself?!  That is just the kind of attitude I'd expect from a piece of crap like you, woman! That is beneath contempt, you smug bitch! I swear, you really are a heartless bitch!  Look at Albie!  Look at what you've done to him.  You've totally decimated him and you just stand there with a smug look on your ugly face!

JENNIFER: Ah, shut up!

(Darren, infuriated, glares at Jennifer. He rubs his best friend's head gently, as he unleashes his wrath on their mutual enemy.)

DARREN: No, YOU shut up, Barrett, and you will do so immediately! If anything makes us want to vomit, it's YOU! You know I don't like it when you hurt my best friend. I've never liked it and neither does Libby.  You've gone too far this time! Mark my words, lady, Libby and I will make you pay for this!

JENNIFER (dismissively): Like I'd care?!

DARREN: You'd better care, you evil bint!  And, don't tempt me!  Libby and I will guarantee you'll SUFFER for this!

(Aaron nods and Aidan glares at Jennifer. He is infuriated at the woman who was nothing more than an egg donor!)

AIDAN: Darren's right!  You'd better care! Look at what you did to Albie! You've truly shattered him!

JENNIFER (dismissively again): My best work yet!

(Everyone else is disgusted with her dismissive tone!)

SHARMAINE: You would say that, you wicked woman!

DYLAN (in a rare snobbish tone, he's usually not a snob, but with Jennifer, he lets his voice show it): You spiteful cow! Only a depraved and cold blooded piece of trash like you would say something so fetid!  You destroyed Albie and you just think that what you did was perfectly fine!

JASON: You truly are an evil bitch! Just look what you've done to my Albie!

JENNIFER (still smug) Damn right I am, and proud of it!  And I am proud of what I did to him!

(Anyssa can't stand it anymore. She finally lets her attacker have it. Albie helped her out a lot by being brave enough to tell Jennifer off, now, she aims to help him.)

ANYSSA (furiously): You have no soul, you heartless harpy! What you just did to Albie was horrible! You have tried to shatter him for years and look at what you did to him now. He's truly shattered, thanks to you!

JENNIFER (still dismissively): So?!

ANYSSA: You evil disgusting bitch! If I wasn't recovering right now, I'd beat the shit out of you! I may not look like much right now, but I'm still one hell of a fighter, I pride myself on being a rough and tumble customer. I lived and fought on the North Side of Chicago and had done rodeo in Oklahoma for years when I was younger. I was a barrel rider and I was also a very accomplished calf-roper and cattle thrower. With that kind of pedigree, I certainly know how to deal with a piece of gutter trash like you. 

JENNIFER: Ha! I am safe from you, Forson! I came close to killing you!

ANYSSA (venomously): Maybe so, but don't forget, close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades, you idiot! You're lucky someone hasn't killed YOU! I bet there's been a long line of folk who want nothing more than to see you dead!

JENNIFER: Whatever! I kicked your ass before and I will do it again!

ANYSSA (angrily): Try me, bitch! You just go ahead and try it! But, I'm warning you, I'll tie you up so tight, not even Houdini could break the ropes!

(Libby stands up with Anyssa)

LIBBY: You stupid egotist! If it were just you and me, I would've beat the crap out of you and kicked you all over creation for what you just did to Albie, you evil cow! If I had my way, I would love to see Anyssa take your sorry carcass out of here in a damned body bag!

ANYSSA: Libby's right, trash! You'd be only fit for burying in a potter's field!

(Anyssa's callous words have the desired effect of sending Jennifer into a howling fit; as was always the case whenever her ego is bruised)

JENNIFER (screaming): How dare you! How dare you say that?! It's just simply not true! Not true at all! My funeral will be a HUGE event! It will be broadcast on every television network in the world! Every VIP in the world will come to mourn me! Everyone will come to pay their respects to me! It will be a State funeral, as befitting someone like me. I am the world's greatest model! No model alive can EVER compare to ME! When people talk about modeling, they talk about me! Everybody LOVES me!

(Once again, Jennifer's ego goes super-nova and her delusions only serve to make her look even more stupid!)

AARON: Oh good grief! Your ego is revolting.

JULIA: She makes me want to throw up. 

JENNIFER: My funeral will be a national day of mourning. My birthday will become a federal holiday!  

LIBBY: Yeah, right! As if! 

AARON: My God, woman! Don't be so stupid! You think it will be all about you?! Well, then you're sadly mistaken! Hell's fire, we'll be too busy celebrating your death! The minute your worthless carcass goes six feet under, there's gonna be one hell of a party around Louisburg Square! We'll have one hell of a ball! It'll last about a week, or hell, even a month...or longer! You'll not be mourned, you will be cursed into the ground!

JENNIFER: But...but...but...everybody loves me! I'd be mourned universally! They would give their eyeteeth to be associated with me!

AARON: Good grief, lady, you are absolutely delusional!  Nobody in their right mind would be associated with you, get that through your wool, you bitch! When you die, nobody would care, because you are nothing but a has-been! Do you hear me, slag?! Nobody! Not even your family. They have made it clear what they think of you!

JENNIFER (wailing): Lies!  All lies! Quit lying on me! My family loves me! They do, they do, they do! They have to talk to me! I'm their loving daughter! Their more successful daughter! What has that damned Charlene ever done that they were proud of? I have brought my family PRESTIGE!

JASON (comforting Albie who is still sobbing): You're crazy, bitch! You know that? You are completely crazy! You always have been! Your lies have caused untold amount of hurt and pain for everyone you've even bothered to touch! Just look at what you did to Albie all those years in school and look what you've done to him, now! I promise you this, you slut, you'll pay for this, and you'll pay for it dearly! You know how much I hate what you've done to him. And you also know that we will NOT tolerate you hurting Albie! You've gone way out of control! Well, we're not standing for this any longer! You're a toxic woman! Always have to be in control! Well, that stops and it stops right now! It should have been stopped some time ago! Hell, even then, the Panhellenic Council wanted to kick you out of the presidency of your sorority because of your disgusting behavior! You were power-mad, then, and you're power-mad now! You're so toxic, that even your own family will not have anything to do with you!

JENNIFER (she is desperate): But they have to! They just HAVE to!

LIBBY (acidly): I don't think so, bitch! They don't HAVE to talk to all! In fact, they don't have to do ANYTHING if they don't want to! I talked with your dad after he married Marta! We talked at his wedding, the one YOU shunned, because he wouldn't let you run as loose as you want! He made it very clear that after you had Aidan raped and after what Aaron told him about your wretchedness around Albie, he wasn't going to speak to you again!


LIBBY (angrily, her hatred for Jennifer clear): Maybe that should give you a clue, you damned slag. You give new meaning to the term, "society-licking bitch". You savaged one of my closest friends! You trashed someone I truly love and care about. Aside from Darren, Albie is my best male friend, and he's a large part of my life.

JENNIFER: Whatever!

LIBBY (in a very dangerous voice): Don't you whatever me! I swear, bitch, D'Aiterio and I are gonna personally make you pay dearly for this! But, I know this for sure, you won't ever harm Albie again, because if you do, and I find out that you did, I promise you, I WILL beat the living crap out of you, and I will make sure that your carcass will be taken out of here in a body bag and put in the damned MORGUE!

JENNIFER (spitefully): Oh, how I hate you! How I HATE you! I hate you all! I hate gay marriage! I hate gay people! I hate it, hate it, HATE IT! I have morals, I have dignity, and I have a deep and abiding love for all people!

(Everyone laughs at Jennifer and her stupid assertions! The entire room is erupting in gales of laughter; even Albie smiles a bit through his tears.This infuriates her.)

DYLAN: Please! Will you just listen to yourself, you pathological liar?


DYLAN: Why? Ohmigod! You really are a damned simpleton! You just contradicted yourself in one sentence! You said you hate gay people and then you said you had a deep and abiding love for all people! Such hypocrisy! Your lies are so constant and so numerous that it is not even funny! I wonder, Madame, do you lie to yourself, as much as you lie to everyone else?! NOBODY I have ever seen, except for the late Molly Wainwright, had a more inflated sense of ego than you do! Even Molly at her WORST was more tolerable compared to YOU!

JENNIFER (screaming): That is because I am better! I do have a larger ego! And I am entitled to it! I am proud of my egotism! I am more important than any one else! I am a model! One of the finest models since Cheryl Tiegs!

SHEILA (acidly): And even SHE would not touch you with a barge pole!

LIBBY (icily) Except to hit you with it!

JENNIFER: Damn you! Who the hell do you Harpers think you are?! NOBODY is better than me!

(This time, Wendy walks up to the evil woman. As she prepares to tell Jennifer off, Aunt India goes to Albie and gives him a hug.)

INDIA: You'll be all right, sweetheart. She'll get hers! We Harpers stick together, and that includes you all. (she smiles impishly) And also, one thing about our Wendy; she can give 'em hell with the best of them!

JENNIFER: Oh, really?! I am better than you all are!

WENDY (quietly but angrily): No, Madame, you are not! You are nowhere near better than any of us here! What you fail to understand, Miss Barrett, is that you are dealing with a family who has more pull and more power at their disposal than you ever could imagine! You ask who we think we are?! Well, I will tell you who we are! We are the Harper family! We've left a long footprint and we've cast a very long shadow throughout New England! Boston is our domain, lady, not yours! You don't command us, nor do you give us orders like we're one of your little flunkies! We are who we are because we earned it! Through years and years of hard work, something you know nothing about! You rant and rave and throw a temper tantrum and you expect everyone to kiss your backside, and when they don't, you threaten everyone with arrest, simply because of your overinflated, bloated ego! Well, missy, I don't have to take it! And neither does anyone in this room!

JENNIFER: Stupid bitch! You can't tell me what I can and can't do!

DYLAN (savagely): Shut up! Don't you dare interrupt my mother! You let her finish!

WENDY: Dylan's right. And he and Sheila are the heads of this family! They have the well-being of everyone in this room in mind. Unlike you, who uses people and throws them away, Dylan and Sheila know what the people they love need and they provide it. They have more love in their hearts than you would ever have in that black hole where your heart should be, if you even have one! You're an evil, selfish, self-centered little puissant and I would be happiest if you never came around any of us again!

JENNIFER (defiantly): Well, that's SO not going to happen! I'm better than you are! You're nothing to me! Do you hear me?! NOTHING! I am JENNIFER BARRETT, God damn it! That means I have MORE clout than ANY of you!

(Anngelique Minzell has had enough of Jennifer, her ranting and raving, her vicious mouth and her unceasing narcissism, not to mention the pain she has inflicted on Albie and the rest of the room. She walks up to her hated enemy, and slaps her hard in the face!)

ANNGELIQUE (exploding): You made one hell of a huge mistake when you threaten people I care about! You want a fight, Barrett?! Well, consider war declared, bitch! You made it clear that you hate this entire room of people, well, I got a news flash for you! You're not too well liked either, Jennifer Barrett, no matter what your delusional little mind thinks! I don't give a damn if you're a model; the President of the United States or even the Queen of England, you're a loser! A disgusting, fetid piece of sewer trash! To ruin people's lives like you do makes you nothing less than trash! Look at you, you selfish minx! You have no compassion, no feelings of mercy, NOTHING! You nearly ruined Aidan's mental health because of your recklessness and selfishness! And you just about shattered Albie over there for many years and you did it again tonight! You're an absolutely despicable human being! I don't ever want to see your face again!

JENNIFER: Well, isn't that too bad? You're going to see me anyway! EVERYBODY LOVES ME!

DYLAN (in a savage voice, his limits are nearly reached by Jennifer's disgusting assertions): No, they don't! Get that through your thick wool at once, you delusional narcissist! NOBODY loves you! Everybody HATES you! They all think you're a monster! Now, GET out of here, Jennifer Barrett! Get out of this place and out of our lives, at ONCE!

JENNIFER (smugly): No! I will not!

SHEILA: Oh, yes, you will. If we have to, we'll have you thrown out!

(India looks at Craig)

INDIA: Craig, my sweet, would you be an absolute darling and call the local constabulary on that worthless old heifer!

CRAIG (grinning): With pleasure, Aunt India.

JENNIFER: How dare you call me a heifer, you wrinkled old crow!

INDIA (quipping) Well, I admit, I might not be as young as I used to be, but I am, at least, a lady. I'm not a YOU are! (she gives an devilish grin) As the saying goes, "if the fangs fit, wear 'em!" Fangs a lot!

(Everyone laughs at India's crazy joke; even Albie, except Jennifer, who burns with rage.)

JENNIFER: Quit laughing at me! How dare you make fun of me?! NOBODY makes fun of me! I am the Queen of Modeling! There's nobody better than me! You'd better worship me!

LORRAINE: I'd rather worship a rock!

SAM: That's enough, Madame! I am tired of your raging.

JENNIFER: You losers don't understand how beautiful and ravishing I am.

(Jacqueline Haller is absolutely infuriated with Jennifer's narcissism!)

JACQUELINE: You are absolutely delusional! You're not beautiful, you're ugly! You're not ravishing, you're repulsive! How many times do we have to say it? We are tired of your face! We are tired of you butting into our lives every time the whim hits you! Every event we have, you inflict yourself right into it! We're tired of it! We're tired of you! We're tired of your ranting and raving! Now, get your stinking backside out of here, RIGHT now!

JENNIFER: Or what?!

AARON (grabbing his evil ex-wife and hauling her towards the door): Or I'll see you personally destroyed! You're already doomed for causing Albie all the hurt you have over the years and what you did to him now. You'll certainly burn in hell for what you did to him. Now, get the hell out of this house and out of our lives, for good!

JENNIFER: I will not! I will not let you stop me!

VIVIENNE: You will get out of this house, right now, lady! Or I will bring someone in who WILL make you get out of this house!

CATHY: And trust me, you will not be pleased with who that person is!

JENNIFER (laughing): Oh, yeah? Like who, Cathy?! Are you going to dust off your dead husbands?! You stupid nothing! David and Alan can't do a damned THING to me! At least all MINE are still alive! I didn't kill them!

CATHY (burning with fury over Jennifer's insult): You just wait, slag! Here's surprise number two!

Someone new comes into the room. Jennifer's nasty laughter and her evil merriment stops quite abruptly! Her jaw drops in absolute shock and horror!

For it is Zachary Janson! Zachary was Jennifer's second ex-husband, whom he married rather ill-advisedly! As she had with Aaron, Jennifer mainly used Zachary for his money. A highly successful and powerful businessman, he just came in from a business meeting, which explains him being in a business suit. A very handsome man of six foot three, he is a strong person, with solid integrity, but he is also very kind, gentle and loving.

His blue eyes worried, he goes right straight to the exhausted Albie, still sitting in the nearby chair, and gently puts his arms around him. The petrified and distraught Albie breaks down and weeps as he clings to his beloved fraternity brother for dear life. As everyone watches (all the while, Jennifer is burning with absolute fury since she isn't the center of attention as she wants to be), Zachary holds him close letting him cry.

Seeing their brother, Aaron, Jason, Rusty and Darren join Zachary, as does Libby. Jason is next to Zachary making sure Albie is all right. After their disastrous marriage, Zachary has absolutely no liking for Jennifer!

AARON: Zach, thank God you made it.

SHEILA: Yes, I am glad you arrived.

ZACHARY: Thank you, Ms. Harper. I remember you and your brother and how much help you gave my company.

DYLAN: Our pleasure.

JASON: Zach, just look at what that damned bitch did to him!

(Zachary glares at Jennifer, who is still smirking)

ZACHARY: I see what that horrible cow has done to him. She's totally shattered him. You were right to call me here from my meeting, Aaron. It looks like Albie needs me. He needs us now. ALL of us. She won't get away with this carnage, I promise you that!

JENNIFER: Oh, please! Nobody is better than me!

(Allegra is disgusted)

ALLEGRA: Can't you ever keep that flapping trap of yours shut?!

RHONDA: You'd better shut up, you Botox laden bint, before I mop up the floor with ya!

(Zachary looks at Albie. His gentle blue eyes hold him in their gaze)

ZACHARY (softly): Albs? Albs, It's Zachie. You're going to be all right, buddy. That bint's hurting of you is going to end right here and now. You're safe now, my Albs, and you'll always be safe. I'm here, and that malodorous slag isn't going to hurt you ever again. I'll see to that.

ALBIE (he raises his head as Zachary gently wipes the tears from Albie's face): Thanks, Zachie. I just feel so drained, and so, so tired. I hate her, Zachie. I hate her! (he starts crying again) Why can't she just leave me alone?

ZACHARY (gently, calming): I know, Albs, I know. She's really hurt you and she will suffer for this. No worries, my buddy. (he strokes his head) We've got your back. She won't hurt you ever again. We'll make sure of that.

JASON (also caressing Albie's head, the love for him evident in his voice): You don't worry one moment more, Bae. Zach's got ya. I've got ya, my angel. We all do. We'll handle this bitch!

JENNIFER: You losers! As if any of you could handle ME!

JASON (whipping a nasty glare at Jennifer): I would not say that, you rotten slag! You have no call to say anything to me or to anyone else in this room! Just look and see what you've done to Albie. You've rung the bell of your own doom, Barrett! And Aaron's right, you'll burn in hell for what you did to him tonight, not to mention what you did to him over the years.

JENNIFER: Screw you, bastard! I'm PROUD of what I did!

ANNGELIQUE: You would be, you stupid skank!

CATHY: You evil bitch! I hope they destroy you!

(Cathy then slaps Jennifer for her previous insult)

JENNIFER: Bitch! I don't care what you think!

ANYSSA: Well, you miserable slut, you'd better care! And I would advise you to shut your filthy trap! You ruined people's lives for far too long, and it's going to stop right now! I am glad that Albie had the courage to stand up to you, even in front of everyone. He was brave to even put it to you! (Anyssa gives him a smile) Besides, he's far better than you are or ever will be!

(Jennifer, for once, ignores Anyssa's ego-bruising insults. She glares at Zachary viciously)

JENNIFER: Besides, fool, you mean nothing to me anymore. What brings you here to make my life hell?!

ZACHARY (holding the weeping Albie close. He caresses his hair as he unleashes his wrath on his ex-wife): I don't think you're gonna like what I have to say, Madame, but you know what? I really don't give a damn about that! Not after what you did to me! And not after what I just heard you pulled on Albie not just tonight but all the time we were in college. When I heard from my brothers what you did to your own son, I'd hoped to God that you would never have done what you'd been accused of! But when Cathy called me and confirmed to me what you did, to me that was the last straw. I've remained silent far too long, but no more. I am doing this for Aidan's sake as well as my fraternity brothers' sakes, and most of all for Albie's sake.


ZACHARY: You really are an ingrate! I was generous to you, Jennifer, in a lot of ways and things. You were wealthy, you had that condo I gave you in Orlando, and what did you do? You sold it for fun and then threw your contempt of me in my face! You did a lot of despicable things to people that you claim that you loved, but you showed, by your own actions that you have NOT loved anyone other than yourself, and even THAT is debatable! You ruined lives in Orlando. Many people's lives. They were good people, people who did nothing to you! And you ruined their lives, because you felt so above them. Far too many lives that shouldn't have been ruined, WERE ruined thanks to you, and I am NOT going to let you do the same thing to the people here in BOSTON! Now, I'm ordering you! Get the hell out of this house and out of these people's lives or I will see to it that you'll be destroyed for good! You asked how Aaron could destroy you?! Well, we got together to stop you! He and I teamed together to step in to stop your wreckage!

JENNIFER: Why you...bastard! I'll slay you!

ZACHARY: Shut up! Right now! You're not in control now! WE are! And you'll keep that foul trap of yours shut! Remember, you scheming evil bitch, our frat ties are far deeper than anything, deeper than blood! And also, you KNOW that I, along with the others, will do ANYTHING to protect Albie! Yes, I heard how you harmed him! You think I wouldn't have found out?! Aaron, Rusty, Darren and Jason told me everything! Let me remind you, you narcissist, that, however much your twisted, deluded, sick little mind might think otherwise, Albie is our fraternity brother.

JENNIFER (spluttering):!

ZACHARY: Shut up, I said! I'm not going to repeat myself! Albie is a part of OUR family, part of our lives; our hearts and our souls. I would think that you'd really ought to KNOW by now that we're an absolute army whenever his well-being is threatened! Years ago, we, as a fraternity, we made a solemn promise to his sister, Joan, that we would look out for him, love him and care about him all the rest of his life and we WILL...even to this day! You know full well we take that promise we made to Joan very seriously. So, I'm warning you right now, Jennifer, for absolutely the last time! You leave everyone, especially our Albie, alone, or I'll make your life HELL!

(Jennifer is petrified, but she is defiant! She glares at everyone! Then she storms off. She looks at them all!)

JENNIFER: You may have stopped me today, but I will win eventually! People like me always win! I'll give you credit, Aaron, you do know how to hit below the belt! And you, Zach, you were merely adequate! (Zach fumes at the insult) But I'll get even! Mark my words! I'll destroy you all and when I do, I'll have a lovely smile on my lovely lips!

DYLAN: The only way that will ever happen, lady, is when we're all busy ice-skating in hell! The only one who will be destroyed in all of this will be you! We have the numbers on our side, Albie has those who love him best with him, and you don't. All you have is delusions of grandeur and narcissism! Now, I'm telling you one last time. Get out of here, you evil bitch! GET OUT RIGHT NOW!  Before someone FATTENS those so-called "lovely lips"!

JENNIFER: You just wait! You'll all be completely destroyed!

SHEILA: LEAVE! RIGHT NOW!!!! If you ever come back, you will be arrested!

(Jennifer storms out of the room, her coat swishing! Everyone is relieved that she is gone.)

ZACHARY: My God! She really is a vicious woman. I hope I never have to see that wicked bitch again! (He looks at Albie) She's nothing. We're more concerned about you, buddy. Are you all right, Albs?

ALBIE: Yeah, I think so.

AARON: Thank you, Zach, you timed that perfectly.

ZACHARY: For Albie, anything.

DYLAN: Thank God you guys are close.

ZACHARY: Frat blood is thicker than water and frat ties are very strong and long lasting, Dyl. We Adelante brothers will protect anyone our Albie is with. He's that special to us.

DYLAN: Well, we clearly appreciate it!

ZACHARY: My pleasure, Dyl. After all, we are ALSO brothers, although you went to Harvard.

AARON: And I think we did the best thing. I hope we've neutralized Jennifer.

ALBIE (recovered from his emotional meltdown): Me too. She really does give me a sick headache.

ZACHARY (hugging his frat brother, the most vulnerable of their number): She gives everyone a sick headache, buddy. I think she excelled at that in college. I think that was the only thing she ever excelled at, aside from being the campus whore!

LIBBY (smiling): One time at the Futura, after we moved there, Sarah Jo told me that her grades were absolutely deplorable and she'd been on academic probation many times.

ZACHARY (his arms still holding Albie close): Oh, yes. I do remember that. Her name on the Academic Probation list was permanent it seemed. She had the worst GPA of anyone I have ever seen.

JASON: It always surprised me that she graduated. If it had been anyone else, they would have been failed out of school in shame.

AARON: I found out from the registrar. She slept with the University president and also several other administrators. And so...she gained her degree, by deceit of course.

ALBIE: No surprise. I guess it shouldn't have been.

SHEILA: The thing is I feel sorry for you guys. We all do. What a burden that had to have been. To contend with that evil shrew all those years. How'd you ever manage?

AARON: A lot of things, Sheila. Mainly patience. Something I ran out of around her a very long time ago. Not to mention fortification with a lot of wine.

SHEILA: I hear what you mean! She could give ANYONE a drinking problem.

AIDAN: I hope she isn't around again, Dad.

AARON: I hope not either, buddy.

ZACHARY: So say we all, Aidan.

AIDAN: Is Albie going to be all right, Jase?

JASON: Yes, Aidan, he will be.

ALBIE (to Anyssa, he is still in Zachary's arms) I'm so sorry we stole your thunder tonight, Nyssa. This was supposed to be your evening. I mean, you having just gotten out of the hospital and all; and that rotten slag just had to come and ruin it all.

ANYSSA (grinning): Don't you worry about that, Albie. Don't you ever worry about that. It's all right. You had to confront her. It was important; it was needed to be done, and it was done. Besides, this incident has helped me far more than you'll ever know.

ALBIE: How so?

ANYSSA: It really made my night to see you rip that woman who injured me so fiercely to shreds. That was worth the price of admission watching. Not to mention me being able to get my two cents in against that ghoul, after she was the one who led me into being hospitalized! That was the topper to this party. You are a brave person, braver than I ever thought you could be. And I'm glad you were able to tell her off after all she did to you! You helped us both. I salute you, Albie.

AIDAN (grinning) We all do, Albie.

(Jason and Zachary hold Albie close and comfort him. Aidan pats him on the shoulder. Anyssa brings him a cup of punch, which he drinks gratefully. Lahoma brings him a plate of food, and he eats his share. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief.) 

ZACHARY: Kevin?  Yes, this is Zachary Janson.  Yes, Jennifer was really cruel to him.  Everyone told her off, but I doubt it will sink in.  You can go ahead and sue her for damages. That evil bitch is going to learn that you don't mess with those who love Albie. 

(In a split screen, Kevin Halloran, a handsome blond, blue-eyed attorney, nods)

KEVIN (played here in his debut, by Shawn Christian; Mark Lawson would play him as a regular recurring role): All right, Zachary. I needed to get the all right to do so.  That bitch is not gonna mess with our Albie. I promise you that!

(The scene fades.)